He kept coming into work later and later, and getting in real shit from the boss. I knew his job was hanging on the line. Some days, you could still smell the booze on his breath. I knew the drinking was bad enough, but obviously the guy was hurting from something. So, I asked him what’s bothering him lately, rather than talking to him about his drinking. He told me that his wife left him – out of the blue. Apparently, she was having an affair. It tore his heart out. It was then that I understood he was drinking to numb the pain."
Deb, Construction Worker
PART 5 : HOW TO HELP A COLLEAGUE
Do’s & Don’t When Discussing Someone’s Substance Use
DO
Only deal with immediate safety issues with intoxicated persons
Separate “the person” from “the behaviour”
Speak calmly and be genuine
Express concern, not just about the drug or alcohol, but also about other problems the person may be experiencing
Share your experiences
Appreciate positive behaviour - "Thanks for sharing that with me"
Be curious and listen
Be empathic and non-judgemental
DON'T
Don’t insist on being "right". Listen to what they have to say
Avoid getting drawn into an argument. It won’t be helpful to vent anger or to blame or belittle
Don’t lay on the guilt trip
Avoid the trap of "nagging" - set clear consequences and be willing to follow through
Don’t get into a pattern of bailing out the person who is using. (For example, covering debts or making excuses for their absences at work)